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Make property division decisions based on your own long-term best interest, not out of revenge. Make an effort to bring the divorce to a successful conclusion with as little rancor as possible. Then, you can go back to sleep and deal with them first thing in the morning. Many women put their careers aside to concentrate on their families.

Also, try to get a lump-sum whenever possible so you control the cash. If the divorce lasts for years and you lose all of your money? After divorce, you will probably need to figure out a way to support yourself and your children.

Don’t separate until after it arrives, so it will be community property.

Think about Social Security: If you’ve been married nine years, you might want to stick out the last year, so you can collect on your ex’s earnings record.

I have not yet been able to obtain this marriage document. They went on to Van Buren Co, Iowa in 1843, and then to Mahaska Co, Iowa in 1845.

There are some notes my grandmother the Genealogy Queen had in her Big Box of Stuff that says the Bass family moved to Bartholomew Co, Indiana but no date is given.

When your grief is overwhelming, go home or to a friend’s house, not to your attorney, who is billing you at his normal hourly rate. Even if you hope that you will eventually be able to reconcile with your ex, don’t bend over backwards to make it happen. Vow never to worry in the dark—if you can’t sleep, turn on the light, pick up a pencil and paper, and write down your worries.

Finally, don’t just pack your bags, load up the kids, and drive away in a car that needs four new tires. The three most important words during divorce are: document, document, document.

Before you separate, buy the clothes you’ll need, perform maintenance on the car, and fix the kids’ teeth. Try to obtain copies of all financial records before your divorce begins.

The children range in age from 19 to 11 and all are recorded as being born in Iowa.

two daughters and three sons, my second great grandmother among them.

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