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I'd heard it said that the older you are, the harder it is to start over, and the fewer the decent, eligible men there are. I was starting to feel like an overripe piece of fruit on a tree, about to rot. Eventually I got sick of throwing myself pity parties; I had to try something. We'd save the world and love each other, maybe even start a family. I invented an email address for myself and posted my ad: LOOKING FOR A HUMANITARIAN. I'm looking for some one who "gets it" — you know, someone who loves to do all he can to make the world a better place, wherever he is. I see myself as empowering and helping such an individual on their path to heal the world with positive energy and possible romance. We can keep each other going — keep each other idealistic and focused on what matters most. In the days that followed, emails began dripping into my inbox.
One day it could be talking with a troubled teenager, the next it could be helping to bring clean water to an impoverished community. I chatted online with a few, but quickly learned to ask for their photo upfront.
Looking for my own personal hero—you know, some one I can respect and love as my counterpart, who'll recharge my batteries and my soul. If so, please put "Superman" in your subject line and tell me about you. It was exhausting, but in that feeling-like-a-hot-rock-star kind of way.
In writing the "tall, blonde" advertisement, I had finally realized what I should have known all along: The headline needed to draw guys in.
For example, I now put "must be financially secure" into the profile, and "must live by the Golden Rule" and "lead by example." There's nothing wrong with the asking, and many online flirters have liked the direct language in what I wrote.
My girlfriends were suddenly feeling all the delight and anxiety of attention.
The overwhelming number of responses gave us all the confidence to get out and start to date again.
After interviewing a few of the 46, I told my single girlfriends about my new hobby. One woman takes the plunge and returns with advice. My fingers hesitantly pecked at the inbox, and suddenly, I was reading my recent ex's email. I wondered what would happen if I posted a wish list online.I couldn't help it; his email was password was just too easy to crack. To my horror, he had placed a singles ad on Craigslist. I'd like to say I didn't sit home feeling sorry for myself, but, of course, that would be lying. But at 36, it seemed every cute or kind man near my age was married with children. Sure, Craigslist has had its share of troubles (the Craigslist Killer comes to mind) but I'd be using the online personals section — which is for legitimate dating — and not the "casual encounters" section — which is just what it sounds like. To summon my courage, I got in touch with my inner Angelina Jolie, imagining myself sweeping across the globe on humanitarian missions with a tall, handsome, loving, financially-secure humanitarian at my side. I'm tired of people telling me that I care too much. I've never married and have been holding out for you, perhaps.If they didn't send one, it was time to be suspicious that they were married or hiding for some other reason.After sifting through the emails, I was disappointed—too many men over 50 (out of my range) and even some photos from perverts. Thinking that my ad was maybe too dramatic, I varied it a little, got some responses and went on a few dates: twice with a pilot, then with a man who showed up drunk. My next ad — TALL, BLONDE LOIS LANE SEEKS SUPERMAN — read: Do you believe women deserve to be treated with chivalry?
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Are you an everyday hero — you know, are you trying to make the world a better place one day at a time?