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Unfortunately, I soon found out that girls mainly like guys who look like their dad when their dad was 23. There’s a reason why posters of Harry Styles outsell posters of John Malkovich (actually, there are probably a few reasons). I was once told by a girl that she wouldn’t go out with me because she ‘liked guys with hair.’ She said it with a devastating flippancy, as though what she was saying couldn’t possibly hurt because I was bald and, as a result, was clearly going to be up against it from now on. I guess, deep down, hair loss feels like, on some level, I’m failing at being a man.Even though research suggests that hair loss can be triggered by poor diet, lack of exercise and a high sex drive (honestly, what could be more masculine than that combo? I won’t pretend that I haven’t considered that most desperate route out of the baldness cul-de-sac: hair plugs.But ask anyone who’s looked into it and they’ll tell you, it’s a rich man’s game.

Maybe it grew in the intense light bouncing off my forehead. Don’t think I don’t wince when I see a picture of myself from the glory years (ha). But the pain, like my hairline, continues to recede.

There are 3 collections of medical recipes, each preceded by a contents list with numbered chapters:ff.

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The ‘before and after’ photos of previous clients always look underwhelming. Before I tried Hair Gain3000 I only had eight hairs.

Now I’ve got 22 and my sexy new girlfriend loves it! OK, so I made the last one up, but you get the idea.

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